MISSION ACCEPTANCE - ACCEPT YOUR NEED FOR SLEEP


It's weird, parents are so obsessed with their kids getting enough sleep but when it comes to themselves they act like it's optional. My mission this week was to accept that my body needs to rest if I'm gonna take over the world.

The plan was to go to bed early on night one and then make note of when I woke up naturally in order to establish my sleep needs. I stitched myself right up on that first night as it was my wonderful friend Adele's birthday. Adele is Italian and a wonderful host, I don't want to perpetuate stereotypes but I'm not sure the two things are entirely unconnected. At Adele's the food, booze and gossip is always flowing; of course I wasn't going to turn in early on her birthday! At the night's end as I wandered home through silent streets, I thought about why I didn't make a different choice. My friend wants only the best for me, so the question was - did I put my health above my friendships? And the answer was, absolutely not.

The next night, Roscoe decided to give me a real run for my money at bed time. He was fighting sleep like a mixed martial artist and cutting heavily into my mum time. He kept dozing off and then waking up suddenly and hitting me, as if it was my fault that his body had betrayed him. When he finally settled I realised I  had less than two hours to cook, eat, make my home resemble less of a flea pit, have a least a perfunctory catch up with him indoors, answer my email, complete my evening routine and of course Instagram it. As the minutes ticked by I grew more and more tense, I even resented my husband for being able to stay up as late as he liked but half an hour before my self imposed bedtime I started to feel a bit of excitment about slipping into a lovely slumber. I abandoned the cleaning, cooked something quick and got to bed feeling pretty smug.

I woke up eight hours later and my first feeling was panic. Eight hours! I don't have eight hours to spend asleep every day! I was kinda banking on seven or even a super efficient six and a half. In order to get in all those hours and be up with Roscoe I needed to be in bed by half past ten every evening and so that's what I did. This is what I learned:

You need to give yourself a talking to. You know all the stuff you nag your kid about at bedtime - you won't be able to get up in the morning, you'll be grumpy, you won't have fun with your friends - all that is true for you too. When you find yourself staying up late with no good reason, remind yourself of how much better the next day wil be with bundles of energy.

Beware of frenemies. Friends and family that consistently try to derail your plans to look after yourself and sleep better by encouraging you to drink, watch TV or attend late night karaoke sessions, are not being kind. It's probably a very supportive act to stick to your goals and force them to face up to their own stuff.

Pick your priorities. When you have less time available you have to get really clear about how that time is used. Have a word with yourself about what your priorities are and these don't have to be same each day. For example Monday might be your exercise night and within reason everything else should come second to that.

Don't feel bad about your priorities. You don't have to shove it in your other half's face that jazzercise is more important than them on a Monday but it's okay to believe it. Say something like, 'I've promised myself I'll do this but let's have breakfast together tomorrow.' No one likes someone that breaks their promises. 

Rules are made to be broken. No one likes a martyr, it's good for the soul to be naughty sometimes.

In conclusion a week wasn't long enough to adapt my sleep habits permanently. Even with  more sleep I still felt a little bit knackered most of the time and perhaps that's just part of the job description*. What I did find was the more I slept, the easier it was to make healthy food choices the next day and the healthier my food choices the better I felt. The better I felt, the more likely I was to be productive the next day and the more productive I was the better I felt. The better I felt the more likely I was to indulge in some self care and..well you get the picture.

So how's your sleep?

Look out for another mission next week or sign up to receive the mission in advance here.

You can still win a Forever Memory Bear worth £80, just go back to my last post

*Parent - No leave, no pension, no lunch break

GETTING MARRIED IS EASY



I really, really wanted to get married. My husband was not so keen. I mean he loved me and he was completely committed to me but he didn't see why society had to get involved in that. Let's just say I prodded him once or twice and wed we did. I really, really wanted to have a baby. I know it sounds a bit fruit and nut bar but by the time the broody bus hit me, it felt like a physical need. Luckily my husband was on the same page, so along came Roscoe. That being said, I'm not proud of getting married and I'm not proud of having our baby because, for me, those things were easy. 

Recently I was talking to an ah-mazing woman who has done astonishing things and she was doubting her own success because some fella hadn't put a ring on it. Don't get me wrong I think you should embrace whatever ambition you desire - aim to get married, aim to have twenty babies but make sure those ambitions are your own and not ones thrust upon you by outside forces. 

I think the fetishisation of marriage and popping out babies is a subtle form of misogyny used to limit women and it's one that works. When George Clooney was single he was known for his work as an actor and director and sometimes given a ribbing for being a bit of a cad. When Jennifer Aniston was single at a similar age it was all - POOR JENNIFER, SHE IS SO ALONE, SEE HER EMPTY WOMB.

It's shameful and degrading because where is the skill in getting married or having a baby? By that I mean it's fun to snog in public and eat a bit of cake; it's easy to have unprotected sex with someone you love and fancy but keeping a marriage healthy is a challenge and raising engaged and secure children is a job; co parenting successfully with someone you might prefer never to see again is high five worthy indeed. 

When your mate got married I'm sure you laughed and cried and spent half a months wages on a hotel room and a dress in the Oasis sale but at her four year anniversary did you take her out for lunch and tell her how much you admire her commitment to making it work? When a baby is born there is, quite rightly, much fanfare but when a year rolls by no one remembers to say - happy mummyversary, you're doing a sterling job. 

By celebrating the status and belittling the progress that follows we're still saying to women your goal is to be a prop, a human representation of someone else's worth. Yes I'm a prize, I'm sure my husband wakes up every day, giddy at the fact that he gets to be married to me; I certainly feel lucky to have him. Along the way, however, my feelings of good fortune have given way to pride because of the effort I put into making and keeping our family happy. I don't want another generation to aim to get married, I want them to aim to create the most wonderful, honest, empowering experience for themselves and for others that they can, because nothing worth having is ever easy.

Do you think getting married is easy? 
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WIN A FOREVER MEMORY BEAR WORTH £80 (IT'S A GIVEAWAY)


Marie Kondo is massive at the moment. You know the Japanese home organising guru who's turned perfectionism into an artform. Apart from her slightly creepy obsession with folding, I have nothing bad to say about Marie. I spent five days last summer reading and implementing her strategy and those five days were more refreshing and relaxing than a five day holiday. By the time I'd finished clearing the house of all the things I did not want or need, I had to hire someone to take it all away! I got rid of everything I could not find good use for with the exception of one box. 

You know the box. You've got that box. The one you move from house to house, from cupboard to loft. It's filled with things you cannot use but cannot bear to part with. A few weeks ago I asked my readers about their favourite keepsake and many people chose their child's first babygro. 

If you've had a child, babygros and tiny clothes make up a large proportion of the box contents and whilst these things can mean a great deal to us, do we really enjoy them when they're shoved under the bed? 

That's why Forever Memory Bears are giving you the opportunity to take those memories out of the box and put them on display where you can enjoy them every day! 

Forever Memory Bears take your much loved items and through the power of creative magic turn them into a beautiful keepsake for you to love twice as much. You have the chance to win one of these amazing bears by entering the giveaway below. 

Before you enter, check out what will be needed if you win. This competition is open worldwide but you may need to pay for additional postage costs if you live outside the UK. 

This is a very special prize so there will be lots of ways to win, including:

Visiting the Forever Memory Bears website and choosing your favourite bear 

and

 Joining Mission Acceptance

The winner will be announced on the blog in two weeks time, along with a very special offer. 

Good Luck!